Thursday, December 27, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Monday, December 17, 2007
Today is the kinder party and Ella wanted to take presents for all her friends. Over the last few days she's been making the tags with all sorts of stamps and labels and today we make the gingerbread, decorated and wrapped them. She felt the Little Red Riding hood outfit was appropriate given the basket.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Step 2 Have your foregirl assemble the workers
Step 3 Realise that your walls aren't so straight because you really should have cut your "timber" after it had been baked rather than before.
Step 4 Prepare strong concrete
Step 5 Get ready to raise the walls
Step 6 Hold your breath while the concrete goes off
Step 7 The interior decorators can finally move in to complete the process inside and out.
Step 8 E voila! an ooey gooey sticky delicious gingerbread house!
Monday, December 10, 2007
Friday, December 07, 2007
I didn't have any nerves, no stomach churning beforehand. I was made to feel so welcome, particularly by Fran, the colleague I'll be working most closely with. I guess knowing the environment, some of the people, some of the frameworks helped. Also, having my gorgeous sets of grandparents caring for our girls is major relief.
It was different second time round - I wasn't anywhere near as terrified of being away from Leila as I was from Ella - honestly, I didn't worry at all! She hasn't taken it without a fuss though - she didn't nap at all today - she was awake from 6am to 6:30pm when I got home. She saw me, gave me the hugest cuddle ever, really snuggled in, had a big feed and went out like a light. Geoff's out with mates tonight for a rare Christmas get together, so all three girls may well be asleep before it's dark.
I feel strangely content - life's good.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
I had told myself that I would offer her things I know she'll eat and have pretty much stuck to that in between alternating things that I feel she should like to eat. Tonight it was a her night - rice with baby corn, peas, carrots and snow peas. She wouldn't eat more than the rice. It's just before 6pm and I've sent her to bed. I told her I didn't like her much at the moment and that I was angry and she had to stay in bed until mummy calmed down. I yelled. I wasn't nice. I feel like crap.
I don't know how to manage this, it's an ever reducing circle which is coming close to including only fruit and starches - plain pasta, rice, cous cous - nothing more.
Part of my frustration is the maternal desire to feed your child; part is that I just don't understand; but is that I don't have much left at the end of the day for a fight over dinner - it's just the straw that I simply can't carry.
I'll apologise to her before we go to bed properly. I'll explain why I was so upset. I'll try and get her to explain why she won't eat so many things that have never previously been an issue. I'll make it okay and find a way forward but for now, I simply feel like crap.
Monday, December 03, 2007
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Saturday, December 01, 2007
There will be positives though, I'm working because I want to. When I worked before Leila, again only two days a week, the balance was great for me. I like to have a balance of my own life at work and then my home life and two days is perfect for that . You have to compromise on the role you can hold, possibly you don't feel as challenged as perception is that the contribution you can make in two days is limited, but I'm prepared to wear that. The upside for me is that I don't want something where I'm worrying about being able to leave on time, where it's impossible to have a family day, it's a trade off.
I also need to learn to not be so hard on myself. Yesterday was a busy day. I do feel that I'm always chasing my tail, but aside from the errands in the morning (Bunnings, Spotlight, post office on pension day), I also managed to do breakfasts, lunches, dinners x two combinations; made paper with Ella for friends whose parties are today; made cards for the same friends; cut out Ella's new christmas stocking; cleaned the house; did the ironing; played inside and out etc etc. I'm no hero, we all work this hard every day I know, but some times I have to remind myself, as we all should, that I don't sit around all day, that I'm feeling stretched for a reason. It is hard to slow down though - there's so much to do, so much I want to do - and not enough time.
And an added frustration yesterday was that nan's gorgeous advent calendar went up alongside our activity one. Hers, however, is covered in presents and it was more than our big girl could bear, the waiting. As a mother you understand, you try and sympathise, but after hours of harranging, it's sooooo wearing! Mental note to self, next year, don't put it up until the big babe is in bed!